Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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