just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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