are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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