this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
