sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
