would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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