I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
