oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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