Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
