Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
