Have you finally orgasmed yet?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
