ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
