Swine flu is the new snow day.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Semen is not good for contacts.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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