Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize