so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
