Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
