I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize