What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
