I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
