That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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