dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
this will be a night to untag.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
