oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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