it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
