Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
