I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
