eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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