I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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