I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
