you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
