sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
