I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
