shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
