Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
