you turned your livingroom into a bong?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
