I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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