Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
