is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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