i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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