That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
