I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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