Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
if only i could text you this smell
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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