Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize