I just pynch a tree in the face
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
