i was born a porn star she said
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
