You really coming over, don't trick.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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