He disabled his match.com account in front of me
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
