R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
