i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
