i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
