He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
