Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
