dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
