Quick, to the slutcave!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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