you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
