Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
