Who wears a wallet chain?!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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