i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
