I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
