so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
