I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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