he wants to bone in the snuggie
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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