I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
