His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
