my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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