Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
