i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
