I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
