You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You ruined the universe
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
