are you so shy because you have an std?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
