He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
